New Orbi Firmware V2.2.1.210 had caused me to factory reset

After an exhaustive search, this seems the best thread to append this to (though it seems similar to at least one other thread that linked me to this thread). I had one of the original satellites on my system go bad (original system was RBR40 and two RBS40s - satellite would power up but no lights from the top and setup never recognized it). The replacement satellite came with the initial 1.0.4.24 firmware. The satellite never had a good connection (although neither orange nor magenta light came on, just the devices that would connect would appear connected to the wifi, but not the internet). I thought it might have something to do with the mismatch between firmwares. I've had NO LUCK updating the firmware. At first, I had to step through each update (e.g., wouldn't let me go from 1.x to 2.x). By the time I finally got to 1.12.0.20, the automatic update to 2.2.1.210 finally showed up on the GUI. But when I click "update all", I just get a message saying "updating settings", the satellite disconnects, and when it finally reconnects, I'm still at 1.12.0.20 with a message that says firmware upgrades available. I've tried to go back and step through each update again, but when manually trying to upgrade to any of the 2.x versions, I just get a message saying its the incorrect file for my model (yep, I'm on the RBS40 download page!). In fact, if I try to manually do the 2.2.1.210 download, after unzipping, the disk image file shows up as corrupted. I've done factory resets of the satellite (not the router yet) and I've removed and reconnected the satellite repeatedly. I turned off daisy chain just for giggles (didn't think this affected anything) and I'm kinda at an end here. 

I did spend a lovely 87 minutes with tech support (mostly on hold and the rest of the time with a particularly annoying rep who wanted to do math problems instead of just issue me an RMA as I requested; "how many square feet? Each devices can handle 2,000 square feet, you have 3 devices. Is your house 6000 square feet."). I think I'd rather offer an Amazon review of my Orbi system I use as a paperweight than repeat the experience with call support. 

Any suggestions?