No automatic firmware updates anymore for RBK53 (RBR50 + RBR50)

My RBR50 performs this FW Update check once each day.  You raise two issues:

1. Automatic (hidden) vs. User Controlled.  You are correct that the default behavior for the Orbi product was for the Orbi to discover new firmware, download, install, and reboot without any user intervention.  This was different than the way the Nighthawk line worked, and there were instances of forum members expressing dismay, frustration, and anger that Netgear was doing this.  After several embarassing episodes, Netgear announced that they would no longer automatically install firmware updates except for major releases.  (Notice the comment in the log file about "Major number is not different.")  There is obviously a setting (somewhere) for whether beta releases are downloaded, so perhaps there is a setting somewhere that any different firmware should be processed. If so, I do not recall anyone mentioning it.  At this point, I fear you probably cannot have what you want.
   
2. Manual Download Required.  This does not match what others have reported.  What seems to happen is the Orbi learns of new firmware and when the user logs in to the web interface (or opens the horrid "app"), a notice pops up announcing the new firmware and inviting the user to install it.  People have reported that it works (except for the "app").  They click, the firmware gets installed, and off they go.  This is exactly how the Nighthawk line behaves.
   
   So, my impression is that your experience does not match that of other Orbi owners.  There are some forum members who prefer to do a manual download and install of firmware, and then even perform a factory reset and configure from scratch.  But, that is their choice.  When new firmware is announced, maybe you can try the "click update" method before doing a manual download?

Sorry to be so negative.  Maybe other forum contriibutors have better news than I do.