AC1200 extender never connects to wifi

> AC1200 extender [...]

   "AC1200" is a speed, not a model number.  Look for "Model" on the
product label.

> I've been going through other folks posts first to find an answer,
> [...]

   The non-psychics in your audience might have no real idea what you
might have read.

> [...] seen mostly rudeness but no actual help.

   Among the "rudeness", did you see anything like this?:

   Here's a radical concept which helps some people:

      https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/RTFM

   Visit http://netgear.com/support , put in your (actual) model number,
and look for Documentation.  Get the User Manual (at least).  Read?

> [...] For starters, I wouldn't have a clue what firmware comes
> pre-installed, since I don't work for the company, [...]

   Ask the gizmo?  See "Get the User Manual [...]", above.

> [...] router doesn't have a wps [...]

   What, exactly, is your (unspecified) "router"?  Maker?  Model number?

> [...] how do you load a web page to install if you have to use the
> netgear_ext network option, but its not connected to the internet, just
> your device? [...]

   It's a miracle!  Or, perhaps your (unspecified) gizmo has its own
little management web site built in.  (I favor the latter explanation.
There's at least one fellow who offers "advice" around here who claims
that this is not possible, but, with any luck, you'll get your problem
solved before he arrives to "help".)

> [...] That page (which I guess is forbidden to name or your post is
> rejected) [...]

   Why that name is forbidden in these forums is a mystery to many.
Netgear stupidity is my preferred explanation.