CBR750 + RBS750 - Satellite will not re-link with CBR unit

As description outlines, my 2 year old system is going to be the death of me...if it's not every WifI 6 device favoring 2.4gHz instead of 5, or never favoring the closest AP, then the satellite is out of sync with the router.

Currently, my satellite is "removed' from the ecosystem; it does not show in the list of attached devices. As I type this, I am directly connected to it (the RBS unit) via ethernet from a PC that doesn't have wifi. It shouldn't be capable of being online because I've hit the Reset button on it a dozen times, rebooted ALL THE THINGS (to be clear because I know mods will ask), and tried every combination of sync/reset/reboot that I can muster. The damn thing WON'T show up on my attached devices list, yet it is clearly still attached because it secretly syncs with the CBR unit even if I move it around (which of course means unplugging from power, fresh boot). It goes without saying that engaging in the reset cycle on the RBS + attempting a manual sync via the CBR/RBS physical buttons does nothing. The RBS initially fires up with a pulsing white light, then if I hit reset it'll eventually have a blinking white light that then turns to a solid blue which should mean it's synced with the CBR...yet it doesn't show on the web or Android interfaces.

I am in no way interested in the same 1-2 mods who tell every living soul the same things and ask the same questions to chime in and tell me I'm doing something wrong. What I am interested in is "I've been through this, here's what you do." That's it. Don't ask me the size of my home, the firmware versions, etc. This is not that. If my only option is to factory-reset my CBR unit, I will begrudgingly do that, but because Netgear interface behavior is so utterly terrible, I do not expect the sync to be successful thereafter.