Rbr750 ap mode chaos wired backhaul

Some time ago I bought by impuls Netgear equipment for at home. I thought why not use some WiFi 6 mesh system and keep the intelligence out of it to integrate in my more advanced Lan (fw, DHCP, dns, ntp). I have been working with wan and lan equipment for multiple decades.
I cannot understand how it is possible that when I backhaul the sats as wired that sometimes I see my end devices connect to the rbr instead of the RBS right next to them. I dislike the simplicity of residential equipment so it's on me for buying that but this is simply bad. I cannot adjust signal strength (or anything else) per ap. I cannot consult fib, or the reason why a change of connection takes place. I can only try to relocate my equipment and see if I find some way to make it better. I call this garbage. If at least I could use a tool or cli to access the os but this does not exist. Snmp? Nope. Simply nothing.
This is not a matter of interference as I analyzed all frequencies. I really don't feel like using wireshark to see how the orbi polices arp or why things are getting blocked. Likely to be something going wrong there. I am not looking for a solution as I will be looking at other vendors from now on as my experience with managed switches was similarly strange. If anyone has a solution to how to access the os I might still have a usecase, if not I will gift them to Ukraine so that they can drop them with drones.