Cannot reset Orbi RBR50

So...got an RBR50 with satellite setup for years now.  I noticed my Internet was running horribly slow, so I reset my network - cable modem first, then cycled power on the RBR50.  After 10 or so minutes, I tried to hit the 'net with my iPad...no such luck.  

I figured...ok, sometimes network devices get out of synch, IPs and ARP tables don't update right, so let's just try it again.  Reset the cable modem and RBR50 again.  Same result.

Everything still shows as hooking to the SSID, no Internet access for iPad, Xbox, PCs.  I also could not link to the Orbi from the management app - even though I was actually hooked up to the WiFi network, the app could not detect the RBR50.  I unplugged the satellite, tried it all again (including power cycling everything again), same results.

At this point, I figured it was time to try a factory reset.  Got my handy, dandy paper clip, held the reset button in until the power LED blinked amber.  Went through new device setup...it couldn't find the default network name.  However, the original SSID was still showing up.  So...factory reset again, similar attempts, same results, more resets...same results.

Now, just for funnies, I asked Alexa if she had Internet access - she replied she did!  I have Amazon Sidewalk disabled, so this should not be.  I can even stream music over the Echo.  Nothing else in the house is working though, so maybe Amazon Sidewalk ignores its setting.  However, if I remove power from the Orbi, the Echo stops working as it loses its Internet connection.  I mention it, though, as it is a curious thing.

I have tried to reset this thing 20+ times with the same results.  I tried resetting it through a power cycle as well (30+ seconds with reset pushed, remove power, power up with button still pushed).  Every time the symptoms are the same - original SSID still exists, everything can connect, only Alexa gets out over the 'net.  I also did a "forget network" and was able to join the old SSID with the old password (both of which should have been wiped with the factory reset).  I also plugged a laptop into the hub/switch on the back of the RBR50 and attempted to configure via browser (192.168.1.1 and Orbi login.com); the laptop pulls an IP but the browser connection is refused.  Also of interest - with the laptop plugged in, I ran power cycles and resets as well.  The IP changed each time, sometimes as low as 192.168.1.3 and as high as 192.168.1.27 (so other devices are receiving IPs).  Tried the app on multiple devices, including one that never had it; tried browser access from several devices; all the same.

At this point, I am out of ideas and thought I would hit up the brain trust.