New Orbi firmware 2.1.2.18 update issues?

I don't know where to begin.  I have never been so angry at a company.  I don't know whether to blame Google / Oreo / Google Home / Chrome Cast... but I DEFINITELY blame Netgear in all of this.  I have had nothing but complete trouble for the last 4 firmware updates.  I finally after BREAKING MY ENTIRE SMART home, including lights, doorbells, garage door, motion sensors, sonos, Wi-Fi... I got a relatively stable release with 2.1.2.16.  We have apple and android at home, we also have nest security cameras.  I have a couple Logitech security cameras that use power over ethernet, and have a switch (hub) and lots of wired connections.  2.1.2.16 ended up ok, but that was really only when we disconnected the pixel 2.  At first this firmware seemed to work with pixel 2 then it got more and more unstable, with the pixel connected it would slowly start making the network flaky.  The previous firmware I couldn't see attached devices, the satellites would not update or connect, I had to start from scratch etc. every time.  Then last night it said 2.1.2.18 fixed the high CPU issue (which I assume means the crazy android mess).  So, like an IDIOT I updated.  Immediately I noticed I had no Wi-Fi, I figured it just needed to all reboot, NOPE nothing, I couldn't even get a wired connection to get internet, I got so frustrated I went to bed.  I had to connect my main computer directly to my cable modem and download the previous firmware.  Then I had to disconnect my switch/hub and everything from the Orbi router, and just connect my computer, to downgrade the firmware to everything.  Then I had to do a complete network reset including the cable modem, and wait for it all to come back up.  So slowly I think I am back to as stable as I have had.  What I don't understand is that this is all a mixed bag.  Some people say they have the same exact issues as I do, some say this has been very stable.  I know android is pushing some fix.  Right now, we have all pixels and google homes and chrome casts disconnected from the network so they don't break it.  I don't know whether to blame/class action sue google or Netgear or both for being incompetent companies.  No product should take down your entire network like this.  Orbi needs to get their stuff together, no firmware update should disconnect your own product satellites.  That makes no sense, that is instability among your OWN products.  No firmware update should ever break a WIRED connection to your computer... what the heck Netgear?  You guys have to stop experimenting with us on these firmware updates.  RELEASE STABLE FIRMWARE.  You don't just break people's connection to the internet, you break our home security, our smart home devices including garage doors etc.  You literally make our life hell when you release this stuff.  I know there are thousands or millions of combinations of stuff on networks that may work for some people on some firmware, but providing home networking cannot be this difficult, I don't understand how a device connected to a network can break the entire network or communication between your product satellites or router or wired connections that seems like it is on you!  I know there is a bunch of security stuff you are also dealing with, but I am not updating anything anymore, I don't care if you promise me that it will be the best experience in the entire world.  I DON'T TRUST YOU ANYMORE.  Your product is junk I am convinced.  I just need to smash this stuff up and go to a different company, I have owned at least 10 different company’s routers over the years and never been so frustrated.  When your Orbi system works, it works perfectly when it breaks (which is the majority of the time) it is useless JUNK.