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I've been searching the forums and the Internet in general, today, as I have gotten my first notice from Comcast that, lo, I am over my 1 Terabyte limit, this month. It has been inching toward that m...
Your 4) already exists. Go to the debug page (change IP if necessary; and it works for both the router and satellite) and enable "WAN Port mirror to LAN port1". There's also a PCAP built-in, which can be either saved to the system memory or a USB device, also enabled from the debug settings.
5) could probably be done on a Rasberry Pi or something similar I'd think.