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Although automatic firmware updates should probably be the default, there should be a method (easily accessible in the firmware settings) to disable firmware auto-updates. The foregoing would all...
Look, the whole idea of auto-updating is that many (most?) users configure their router when they first buy and install it, and then never again, leaving it with a growing list of vulnerabilities that never get fixed because the owners/users don't install the firmware updates that patch the issues. Hell, most users didn't even set passwords for their networks until router manufacturers made them secure by default. Leaving router security in the hands of end users has been tried, and it has failed.
Complaining about your Orbi updating itself is like complaining Chrome updates itself. The problem here is not that the Orbis auto-update. That's what they're supposed to do, and if you don't like it, you bought the wrong system. The true issue here is that the firmware updates seem to be developed and insufficiently tested before being pushed, and, as such, can sometimes change configurations or break features. Netgear needs to be pushing better updates. It does not need to be reverting back to the system where people "set it and forget it" and never get any better security until years later when they buy a newer router.
Your complaint needs to be, "Netgear, push better updates," and **NOT** "Netgear, stop pushing updates."