Ex8000 flashing red power light unable to reset

I have a R7800 running smart connect.  I had some weak spots in my home so I picked up a EX8000 Extender.  I got it configured using WPS to the router.  But I am facing a few issues.

In the extender setup screen sometimes the 5ghz is 866 mbps between router and extender and the 5ghz  out of the extender is 1733 mbps.  Now it is flipped whereas the 5ghz from router to extender is 1100mbps?  Is that different than the backhaul channel?  

How can I tell if the third band is getting best throughput?  The max throughput LED is white most of time,  sometimes it goes out.

The next issue is in the status screen under the smart setup button,  the connection to the existing 5GHZ network disconnects randomly?  I have good signal strength,  I just changed the channel to 124 and it seems better.

Here is the bigger issue, this may be normal,  I don't know.  But my devices don't seem to want to connect to the extender,  the extender is maybe 50 feet from the router at an opposite end of the house.  If I am sitting next to the extender I still don't connect,  which I see as strange.  It picks up the weaker signal from the router.  I was expecting this to supplement the areas with weak signals in a mesh sort of way.

I have updated the firmware on the extender to 1.0.1.186 and the router to 1.0.2.60.  I do have QOS enabled on router.