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Although automatic firmware updates should probably be the default, there should be a method (easily accessible in the firmware settings) to disable firmware auto-updates. The foregoing would all...
Supposedly, following these instructions will allow you to disable automatic updates. It's not a function that's intended for consumer use, and I've never tried it, so try it at your own risk. You said you tried two suggested methods, and neither worked, so if this one is one you've already tried, sorry (I have no idea which methods you've tried so far).
My contention is that the vast majority of people that do encounter any problems with their Orbi system won't even make it as far as this community page.
This is true, which is why they need to do a better job testing the firmware before pushing it out to users. But if they make it too easy to opt-out of automatic updates, too many people will opt out, either by default, or at the first problem, potentially leaving their Orbis frozen in time with whatever firmware version they had when the user opted out, never to receive another update again. That's not a good scenario, both for the general health of the internet, but also even from Netgear's standpoint. If Netgear is patching security issues as they arise, and pushing updates, but people have disabled automatic updates, and they're having issues, Netgear will still get the blame, even though it would really be the users' faults.
Personally, I'd probably rather see fewer updates, but ones that have been rigorously tested and work as expected, though emergent security issues could result in prioritizing fixing an issue quickly with less concern for stability. Like, I realize Google is much bigger than Netgear, but I had a Nexus, and now a Pixel, and neither the OS upgrades nor the security updates ever broke anything as far as I recall. Maybe Netgear, rather than putting out so many models, needs to focus more on getting the firmware release process down, so they can have a few models with great firmware, rather than a bunch of models with ok firmware that could drag the whole Orbi brand down with a bad reputation.