Ready to chuck this system through the window

What is the Mfr and model# of the ISP modem the NG router is connected too?
What is the Mfr and model# of the ethernet switch if one is in the configuration.

What is the size of your home? Sq Ft?
What is the distance between the router and satellite(s)? 30 feet is recommended in between them to begin with depending upon building materials.

What channels are you using? Auto? Try setting manual channel 1, 6 or 11 on 2.4Ghz and any unused channel on 5Ghz.
Any Wifi Neighbors near by? If so, how many?

Try disabling the following and see:
MIMO, Daisy Chain, Fast Roaming, IPv6 and Set 20/40Mhz Coexistence to 40Mhz only. Save settings and reboot the router and satellite(s).

If you updated to recent FW v.210, try enabling Daisy Chain. Some have mentioned that this seems to be working in reverse order, enabling means disabled actually. Especially if your satellites are wired to the router. 
https://community.netgear.com/t5/Orbi/Firmware-2-2-1-210-and-connection-problems-Skybell/m-p/1649275/highlight/true#M43001

Found under Advanced Tab/Advanced/Wireless Settings

If you used the auto upate, try a Manual FW load:
https://community.netgear.com/t5/Orbi/Firmware-2-2-1-210-released-as-of-10-3-18/m-p/1647303/highlight/true#M42416

For apple issues, Try this:

Advanced Wireless Settings both 2.4GHz and 5GHz changed CTS/RTS Threshold to 2307.
https://community.netgear.com/t5/Orbi/Orbi-RBR40-RBS40-V2-1-4-16-mesh-network-drops-connection-to/m-p/1601598/highlight/true#M35230
Change the CTR/RTS threshold values for both 2.4 GHz and 5 GHz (2341 and 2345 respectively), changed preamble modes to long preamble, and Set 20/40Mhz Coexistence to 40Mhz only.